Saturday, December 12, 2009

SongSnack Music Presents: 6 snack-sized reviews

This is what SongSnack Music Reviews is all about: snack-sized reviews and giving you the most information possible with the least amount of words. This SongSnack is all name brand meat, protein enriched, no namby-pamby girly man reviews - this is SongSnack.

SongSnack proudly presents: 6 snack-sized album reviews

1. Creed - "Full Circle." Creed makes a "comeback." In quotes to keep you guessing, it's not completely terrible but nothing like their past uber-catchy stuff. 3 1/2 stars. Arms wide open? Sure. I'd gladly hug this CD into a million fucking pieces.

2. Three Days Grace - "Life Starts Now." Great album cover... even greater headache. Lost In You is worth a download, the rest is worth less than a fuck-load. 3 1/2 stars.

3. Breaking Benjaman - "Dear Agony." Falling away, Fading Away... I just don't care anymore, it's all the same. I really can't tell the difference between this band and Three Days Grace - all I know is that both bands were actually good in 2006 and now they're pretty much mildly retarded and have no clue as to how to advance their sound. Listen to Dear Agony and Into The Nothing... then break Benjaman's CD to bits. 3/12 stars. Also, irony alert: in the last track the singer says "says something new" after an entire album of falling down, fading, and turning into a gay vampire... I don't know.

4. Alice In Chains - "Black Gives Way To Blue." Certainly as hard as old Alice In Chains but missing that certain soul the old singer brought. I just can't help but think cash-in and roll my eyes - this guy isn't Layne Staley. Listen to "Private hell" and then relisten to Dirt. Though if you're a total die-hard I can't see you really hating this - same sound, same songwriting... just not as memorable. 3 1/2 stars.

5. Wolfmother - "Cosmic Egg." What do we have here... Wolfmother sans all but one original member, and in lieu of an artsy naked chick on the cover there is a giant egg? Oh good. Is this a b-sides compilation... or... no, it's a full-length album and it is wank. New Moon Rising is worth a listen but i can't help but think that's a stab at a little Twilight "New Moon" money... kind of apt because this album really does suck. Plus, remember: A giant egg on an album cover. If this is breakfast then fuck eggs, Wolfmother is toast. 3 stars.

6. Them Crooked Vultures (self-titled). Talk about a surprise. Just when I thought Josh Homme and David Grohl didn't have anything left to give and they are simply burned-out talentless hacks (both putting out sub-par albums in their respective bands) here we have what is arguably the best rock album of 2009. Not to mention, that vulture on the album cover looks totally crooked. 4 1/2 stars.

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